[Donut]

Do you have to move every 10 months, something I've had to do for the last 6 years, because there isn't enough money to pay the rent?

No, but if my family (my income included) doesn't raise in the next 3 months we could be facing forclosure.

Have you ever had to consider getting a job so that you can pay for your siblings to eat that month because the Food Stamps got scaled down and your parents couldn't afford it?

Why yes I have, we got hit too.

Have you ever watched your siblings huddle on a couch under a single blanket in below freezing temperatures because there was no heat in the house for non-payment?

Yes, because my family doesn't have a functional furnace. the closest thing we come to that is when our mom cooks something in the winter, I've watched my 6 other siblings huddle around the stove.

Have you had to watch your father explain to NationalGrid why he went out and turned back on the gas (effectively stealing it) just so that we could heat the apartment we were living in?

No, because my family just.. survives without stealing.

Have you had the embarrassment of having to rent from your own aunt only to be thrown out with nowhere to go, having to live in a single room motel for a week and a half, going to school in the same dirty clothes because there is no washer/dryer or shower and having to explain that you are essentially homeless?

Yes, in fact shortly after I turned 3 or 4, my parents were kicked out of my grandmother's house because she had her inheritance stolen by my aunt. while I never had to go to school in dirty clothes because I was too young, I did have to deal with the repercussions it had in my extended family, some of which may see a resolve after we blind-invited everyone involved to my graduation party... almost a month after that fact because my family couldn't barely scrape together enough money to send out the invitations.

Do you know what that feels like to realize all of that, and apply to several places- all without even getting a call back? And then I get blamed for not trying, for being lazy or that this was my fault, as I even wanted to be alive in the first place.

Yes, that exact thing happened to me, that EXACT THING. the only difference is that I realized that if I call them back after about a week of no callback, they tend to re-examine you and hire you. That's how I got a job cleaning up apartments and other properties while thay are being ready to be sold or (almost immediately) after someone has been evicted. I've watched people in better positions that my family have to grab as as many belongings as they can stuff into their car. (if the're lucky) then I've seen the one who'll break EVERYTHING just to get even.

I get blamed for it all by people who think that just because they can't afford the newest iPhone, they can fucking call themselves poor. If you had any idea what that word meant, you'd understand private school would never be an option in the first place.

1st off: I don't even own a phone.
2nd off: The only reason I could attend was because my father FINALLY got a job that payed enough to get both my brother and I through the first year... A job that canned him the moment they realised they could hire a minority compared to him.

I don't know what you fucking people want from me, I just don't.

Well for starters, we want you to leave.

My contempt for this education system is that I was left in the dark. Because of standardization-based reform and teaching to the test, education teaches to the lowest degree. That leaves people like me, people who have the entire day's lesson down in 5-10 mins without notes, people who are overjoyed that they got an F because they didn't know something instead of not even bothering to repeat the same crap over and over again. Maybe you don't get that because you went to private school, but I don't get that luxury. And I'll likely never have the luxury of attending college either, because I don't qualify for federal financial aid since I did not register for selective service.

Well standardized tests suck *****, and teaching to a test actually tells the teacher if you've learned anything or not.
Why the fuck wouldn't you apply for selective service, you're never gonna get drafted, and given you current housing dilemma, I doubt the government will even send the letter to the right address.

I aspire to be a revolutionary.

I do too, shit sucks right now.I just don't lie on the same end of the spectrum from you.

I try and I get crap on by life, so I don't and I get crap on. What the **** is the point in any of this. Honestly, I work so hard to be smart despite the fact that I'm at such a disadvantage, and I get crap for it. Pardon me if I have the audacity to criticize a failing education system. Pardon me if I challenge the notion that economic competition was ever a requirement for success in life anyways. Pardon me if I refuse to assume all guilt in this life, because from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep, something is always wrong, someone is always fighting, or somehow I'm not living up to someone else's impossible standards. You want to know why i'm an insufferable, cynical, douchebag? That's what you fucking become when everything ends up the way it has. Honestly I just don't even want to try anymore.

I can honestly say I somewhat agree with this, I went through the same feels you did, however I just "Kept plowing" (a quote from my dead Ukrainian great grandfather who barely survived running from with the surviving members of his family from communism, came to the U.S, and died a millionaire because he didn't give up.