[Cammie:D]

So I know most of you are probably going to say this post is just me trolling, or I just want attention, but that's none of those things, I just want to talk about it because I've seen some talk in the discord and I feel like it should be brought up, because the people you least expect have stories of what they went through. Depression can happen to anyone, like said before, they can be surprising cases or not the complete opposite. I was depressed through all out middle school, and keep in mind I used to be a happy kid, but back to my story. The worst year was 7th grade, I would get bullied and hardly had good friends and, being the emotional kid I was, they didn't pair up too well. To cope or something like that, I tried doing stuff to myself, and I would try to hide it, I would always wear this one black hoodie that I have to cover what I had done, and no one knew what I was going through or doing to myself, I also stopped hanging around my the few friends that I had as well as my family. In 8th grade I got better, I started having more friends than previously, I wouldn't get bullied as often, and it was just the best year of middle school (out of the three years), I was still depressed, that part didn't change. Moving onto high school, when I started 9th grade it was fine, I still had some of those friends from 8th grade, and my classes were going decently well, I stopped my self harm, and it was just the best school year I've had in awhile. But near the end, it changed, my friends that I had up until now, kinda just went away, they became mutual (well some...) and I had only 1 good friend at the end, now keep in mind, this really hurt me, I am emotional and I just felt like I was used in a way, because I felt like I had done a lot for them and I felt like they betrayed me because come to find out some of them were fake bi***es, but i'm not getting into that.. My grades fell, I stopped doing things with my family, like going out to eat, or just being around. I stayed in my room, on my bed watching YouTube, and...I started  the bad habit once again of self harming myself again. I went back to who I was in 7th grade, depressed and just trying to shut everyone out. Over the summer wasn't much different, I still kept up with my routine of just being in my room, alone. Then came the start of 10th grade (my current grade) I was still depressed, but the start of the year wasn't so bad honestly. I found my best friends in the beginning (still friends today!) and I was feeling so much better with myself, but I still had those 'urges' (if that's what you even call it) to self harm. Going into winter break, (not long ago) I decided that I shouldn't live like this anymore, constantly feeling sad and doing these things to myself. So I started to do more things with my friends, I branched out of my comfort zone and started trying new things, my grades completely changed, and most importantly I started to talk to my family about what I've been going through. Fast forward to today, I have great friends, I completely stopped self harm (haven't had those 'urges' in a long time!) and I've just been really happy with myself. That was my story of depression and what it had done to me, back to the real reason I wrote this. Just know, you ARE NOT alone <3, if you have those dark thoughts of harming yourself, PLEASE talk to someone, I didn't do it for so long and after I finally talked after 4-5 years, I just feel so much better, imagine if I talked to someone I trusted so much earlier on. You guys know that I joke around a TON in general, I would have never done that 4 years ago, if anything I would be watching YouTube and most likely self harming. Anyways, I really do hope you take something away from my story, just know that im here if you ever need to talk <3