[Suleiman]

Math is the only place where I hear someone doing ridiculous things. FOR EXAMPLE, "John has 30 chocolate bars, he eats 23, what does he have now?" DIABETES?? MAYBE???!!!


WHY DO WE NEED SCHOOL?
MUSIC: We have YouTube for that.
SPORT: I have a Wii.
LANGUAGES: I watch Dora.
ENGLISH: Everything is shortened anyway.
MATH: Thats why we have calculators.
GEOGRAPHY: Ill buy a globe.
DRAMA: that's why I watch eastenders!
HISTORY: Theyre all dead anyway.


The human brain is amazing....... It functions 24 hours a day from the time we were born, and only stops when we take exams


*Texting dad*
You: Hey dad, can I get some money for some coke?
Dad: Sure... is $60 enough?
You: Dad. It's $1.25.
Dad: Wow, the price sure went down from when I was a kid...
...You: DAD! COCA-COLA?
Dad: Oh.....


Girl: Heyy:)
BOY:hey
GIRL: I like you:)
BOY: wow.
GIRL: What?? you don't like me????
BOY: no
GIRL: wow you are so nice :'(
BOY: why are you crying??
GIRL: You don't like me :'(
BOY: well you never asked if i love you:)
GIRL: well do you?!
BOY: Lol no.


Guy: Do you want a hug?
Girl: No.
Guy:Do you even know what I just said?
Girl: Yea
Guy: What did I say then?
Girl:Do you want a hug?
Guy: Well, if you insist


During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:

"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?

" Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go pee." The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite.

What about you Sherman, how would you say it?"
Sherman said, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.

And you, little Edward, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?"

"I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner."

The teacher fainted ...


comment plz, say which u found best :)

[BlackHaze]

you make a good point hahahah i enjoyed reading it

[SCiZOR]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4SKL7f9n58[/youtube]

School exists to make you stupid.

[Alloy]

Lol, their all funny. I should try the part about hugging.
I got one thing for you about health class.
Lukas: "Teacher i cant write anything because i need to sharpen my "pencil"."
Teacher: "Well then, go sharpen it."
Cody: "But teacher, he doesn't want to sharpen his "pencil" in the "sharpener" because its wrong."
Teacher: "How is it wrong?"
Me: "How would you feel if you got aids."
Teacher: "Don't worry, i sharpened the pencils all the time and i never gotten aids."

[Prime]

haahahah. ive read these on facebook.

heres one.
Kid: can i go to the toilet, please?
Teacher: sure, after you say the alphabet from a to z
Kid: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Teacher: You missed out P, where is that?
Kid: Down my pants

and....
Teacher to her class ful of 10 year old: What would you guys like to do when you grow up?
Mary: I want to become a doctor
Adam: I want to become a police officer
John: I want to become a taxi driver
Melissa: I want to have kids
Nathan: I want to help Melissa..
and.
A girl called her bf and told him "Come over, no ones at home". The guy gets in his car and drives to the girls house and knocks on the door which is opened by the girls amazingly hot older sister. The older sister says "Ive liked you since the day i saw you, i want you in me upstairs in my room". The guy turns around and walks towards the door and opens it. The boys gf is standing outsiude and hugs him and says "Now I know that i ca trust you with all my heart"
The end

Moral of the story: Leave your condom in the car [perc]

[SmG Hawk]

I fonud all funny shadow and I found yours funny Qu3st.

[Sorrow]

I will try the hug part xD, its REALLY funny, :D

[Suleiman]

Thx :) btw if i get 5 likes, im gonna make a second part to this!!
if you wanna read more just click the "like" button simple :)

[SmG Storm]

i tried the hug part it works XD hahahaha

[PirateEggs]

Replace hug, with a less G-Rated word. ;)