[Suleiman]

Hope you like my second part too!!!!! :)

You: Teacher!
Teacher: Yes?
You: Can I ask you something?
Teacher: Sure, go on.
You: Would you punish me for something that I didn't do at all?
Teacher: Of course not.
You: Good, I didn't do my homework.


When I die, friends will go to my funeral, good friends will cry at my funeral, but my best friend will change my facebook status to "Chilin' with Jesus"



A blonde walks into a store.
Blonde: Can I get that T.V. in the corner please?
Shopkeeper: Sorry, I don't serve blondes.
The blonde goes and puts on a brunette wig.
Blonde: Can I get that T.V. in the corner please?
Shopkeeper: Sorry, I don't serve blondes.
Frustrated the blonde puts on a redhead wig.
Blonde: Can I get that T.V. in the corner please?
Shopkeeper: Sorry, I don't serve blondes.
Blonde: Damn it! How the hell'd you know I was a blonde!
Shopkeeper: That's not a T.V. in the corner it's a microwave.



Mom: Where were you last night?
Son: Studying with my friends.
Mom: Don't lie.
Son: Alright, I was at a stripper club.
Mom: DID YOU SEE ANYTHING THERE THAT YOU WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO SEE?!?!?
Son: yeh...I saw dad.



5 DEADLY WORDS USED BY WOMAN
1. FINE - this is the word women use to end an argument when she knows she is RIGHT & YOU need to SHUT UP.
2. NOTHING - means SOMETHING & u need to be WORRIED.
3. GO AHEAD - this is a dare, not permission, do NOT do it.
4. WHATEVER - is a woman's way of saying SCREW YOU
5. THAT'S OK - she is thinking long & hard on HOW & WHEN you will pay for your mistake.



Teacher : whoever answers my
next question can
go home.
* one boy throws his bag out the window*
Teacher : who just threw that?!
Boy : Me! Im going home now.



Like if you've ever
Ate all of your popcorn before the movie started
Spent an entire weekend in your pyjamas
Accidently called your friend by the wrong name
Laughed for 5-10minutes straight
Couldn't find your phone when it's in your hand
or Felt like a ninja when you walk through the house at night.



I just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. I don't want to cause any arguments but... shouldn't that be an even number?



Son: Dad, my math teacher yelled at me today!
Dad: Why?!
Son: My teacher asked me what is 3 x 2, and I answered 6.
Dad: That's right!
Son: Then he asked me what is 2 x 3
Dad: WTF is the difference?
Son: That's what I said...


If Spongebob lives in a circular pineapple;.............
Why does the inside of his house have corners? O.o



DEAR HATERS,
I COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE THAT....
'awesome' ends with "me"
and 'ugly' starts with "u"



A little boy asks his dad;
"What's between mom's legs?"
The father answers," Paradise."
The kid asks again,"Whats between your legs?"
The father replies, "The key to paradise."
Then, the son says,
"Piece of advice dad, change
the lock. The neighbor has a copy."


Ok guys thts the most i could think of, btw ill make 3rd part as soon as i hit 8 likes, altogether
so 4 more from now. :up:

[I SuPeRz I]

BWAHAHAHAAH lol :P

[SmG Storm]

lolz so funny i like the even numbers one..

[Sman545]

Nice there bro.

[SmG Hawk]

You: Teacher!
Teacher: Yes?
You: Can I ask you something?
Teacher: Sure, go on.
You: Would you punish me for something that I didn't do at all?
Teacher: Of course not.
You: Good, I didn't do my homework.

I'm going to try this one at school. :lol:

[PirateEggs]

DEAR HATERS,
I COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE THAT....
'awesome' ends with "me"
and 'ugly' starts with "u"

I couldn't help but notice, your ALL-CAPS-RAGE!1!!11!!1....

Also, it would have to be 'AwesoMe', to actually work, due to pronouns needing capitalisation, and with the second part, that would make sense if the word was 'Yougly', but it's not, therefore, I still hate you, and you're wrong.

[Sman545]

DEAR HATERS,
I COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE THAT....
'awesome' ends with "me"
and 'ugly' starts with "u"

I couldn't help but notice, your ALL-CAPS-RAGE!1!!11!!1....

Also, it would have to be 'AwesoMe', to actually work, due to pronouns needing capitalisation, and with the second part, that would make sense if the word was 'Yougly', but it's not, therefore, I still hate you, and you're wrong.

Damn Pirate, as I believe there are way too many ones in your punctuation to be correct, and that's way too much exclamation points to begin with. Tsk tsk, what has become of you Pirate. Is the grammar Nazi falling? Also, wtf? Lol you just love to make the children cry, don't you. Haha.

[SmG XLORM]

you should be a grammar Nazi to the song "own this club"

[Prime]

hahha. nice work.
heres a few that i know of.

knock knock?
whos there?
ya?
ya who?
dot come

What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
run.
why would you run?
coz the grenade might still be in her hand

3 best friends stuck on an island. they walk around the beach and find a lamp. thery rub a lamp and a genee pops out and grants them all one wish each. the first guy says "i wish i was at home" and poof he was gone. the second guy says "i wish i was home" and poof he was gone. the thrid guy says "im feeling kinda lonely. i wish that my best friends were here with me"

this next one is M rated so skip it if you want to..
whats the common thing bout a pen1$ and a rubix cube?
the longer you play with it, the harder it gets

why happens when a blonde runs at her twin?
you get a broken mirror

a blonde was once at a library listening to her ipod. the librarian walked up to her and said "no ipods in the library, please" and walked away. bout 20 minutes later, the librarian walked back to the blonde and found her dead. when she put the ear phones in her ear, it said "Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out"

this is possibly one of the good ones that i know of...

whats starts with an S and ends with an E and X and is full of orgasmic sounds???

SKRILLEX

[Hiralis]

What does Hitler say when he's blindfolded?
"I can nazi"