[Kite]

“I have a go-to story that works like magic on random women I want to fuck. I tell them I’m about to get married in three weeks, and that their ***** is the last bit of freedom I’ll ever taste if they’ll just let me bury my face between their thighs and lick them to fulfillment. I’ve whispered some version of that line to a lot of women—in the backseat of taxicabs, across dinner tables, at weddings, and at overcrowded bars.

But a few months back I met up with this chick through Tinder and after I said my piece she stared straight back at me, totally unimpressed. ‘I want you to fuck me,’ she said, ‘but don’t bullshit me.’ It was sexy to be called out like that. I was blindsided, and I got hard right there. We asked the bartender for the check and went straight back to her place. She was definitely the one in control, not me. She stripped (turns out she wasn’t wearing a bra or panties) and shoved my head down between her legs and I licked her ***** like I’d promised until she came. Then I fucked her with every last drop of energy I had and she came again. Next morning, she climbed on top of me and we did it again. We’re officially together now.”