[Beasty]

While Chuck Norris was on holiday in Spain, he ate some bad paella causing him to take the largest shit known to man. That shit is now France.

Chuck Norris uses Tabasco Sauce for eye drops.

Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card.

Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Chuck Norris for every answer.

you guys put some :D

[SmG Facundo]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYLvdLWkhk8[/youtube]

[SmG Conan]

Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing to cube of ice
Chuck Norris has never had an heart attack. His heart isn't dumb enough to attack him.
Light years were created to messure the distance you will travel if Chuck Norris round-house kick you.
There isn't a theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris let live
Once Chuck Norris punched a horse in the chin. Now we call them Giraffes.

i got more...but i'm too lazy to write them all

[Alloy]

Chuck Norris goes down the highway to hell once a week.
Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.
Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the s*** out of it.
Fear of spiders is arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is claustrophobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.
Chuck Norris flosses with an electric fence.
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
Chuck Norris doesn't need twitter, he's already following you.

[Hazy]

Chuck Norris once got bitten by a King Cobra after five days of pain and agony the snake died.

[SmG Nukem]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZrHmcpRAZNs[/youtube]

[SmG Pulse]

Chuck Norris counted till infinity...twice.
Chuck Norris tossed a coin to a beggar, today that dude is called 50 cent.

[Beasty]

Jesus can walk on water; Chuck Norris can swim on land.

Chuck Norris died years ago, Death is just to afraid to come for him.

[SmG Battlefire]

Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic

[Ray88]

^Your bro already posted that